A Letter To My Pup

>Songs and poems exist as “letters to my college self,” “letters to a younger me,” etc.

Last night while trying to tame my demon pup, I found myself mentally composing A Letter To My Puppy.
Yesterday was Chloe’s first full day in the crate while I was at work. My lovely friend Bethany is awesome, generous, and so patient enough to offer to let the little one out two days a week, and she was a  complete lifesaver yesterday… even after a small key mishap.
Regardless of her new lunchtime friend, Chloe was pretty mad at me for having her crated all day, and she really let me have it last night. Her naughty behavior is what caused me to compose said letter.
Dear Chloe,
First and foremost, my achilles tendons, my calves, my knees, my wrists, my fingers, my hands, my neck, and my ear are not chew toys. P.S., it hurts!

Maybe we can come to some sort of agreement. Multiple treats for sleeping in on weekends? I’ll bake you a doggy cake. Whatcha think?
Sleeping really only happens after 10 p.m.
The leash is good for you. Embrace it.
You are so cute when you find my mirror every day. “You’reeee so vaaaiinnn..”

How on earth do you hear my alarm go off every morning? I promise, I’m coming to get you. Your heartbreaking yelping doesn’t help me move faster.
I don’t really like cleaning up poopies and puddles from the carpet. That’s supposed to happen outside. Take one for the team, and don’t decide to go after I take you outside for 7 minutes of sniffing and looking at the door.
“Mom, I just don’t feel like pooping in 30 degree weather.”
I’ll make a deal with you. Never grow up, and I’ll give you all the treats you want. Always.
…that never growing up thing does not include your “mental” maturity. I will eventually need sleep and a clean carpet.
No matter how many rocks, wood chips, and other outdoor paraphernalia you hide in your mouth, I will always make you spit it out. This isn’t a slam against your taste, I just can’t let you to choke on it and die.
How big should we let you get before I buy you one of these?
baseball season is coming…

I love you, but I don’t really want you in the shower with me.

Refrigerators are not the best place to hang out. As you’ve learned, that door shuts pretty quickly, and you’re black. It’s hard to see you. Waah!
You crack me up when you day after day think your ferret chew toy from dogsupplies.com is a real live animal. The mental video I have of you spotting the toy, slowly stalking up to it, and pouncing will forever warm my heart.

That rhinestone collar is ballin’, but the vet was right. You should probably hold out for the real thing. šŸ˜‰
Let’s snuggle forever. No more biting, and I won’t go to work anymore. Deal?
Love, Momma. 
P.S. Who knows how to cure puppy biting? The yelling “ouch” to startle her, the no eye contact, and the little pop on the nose really just isn’t cutting it…

9 responses to “A Letter To My Pup

  1. >N'aww Chloe is SO adorable! And haha I actually DID bake my dog a cake after someone gave me a doggie recipe book! :PMy dog kinda just grew out of that stage! Maybe Chloe will too…?

  2. >my dog grew out of the nomming on mommy stage pretty quickly. chloe is just so precious! I love the pictures!

  3. >Love the letter, lol. Shes so cute!!!! My dog grew out of it after he found toys and raw hides

  4. >Awwww this is precious!As for biting… we used the "ignore" thing (probably the no eye contact thing you're talking about). If Oreo tried to nibble, we'd shriek like we were in the worst pain, stand up quickly and turn our backs to him with our arms crossed. He would try to come around in front of us and we'd just spin until he was behind us. After a few seconds, we would turn around and praise him and play with him. We just kept doing it over and over again consistently until he quit (which one day meant doing it like 12 times in a row, but he learned!). I've heard that when a puppy starts chewing on you, another good tip is to try replacing your finger with a chew-toy. So a gentle "no no" and pulling your finger away when she chews and then handing her a toy to chew on instead. Basically redirecting her chewing to an appropriate place.

  5. >@RachThanks, Rach! I've been trying both… I'm gonna stick with it and see if it helps!

  6. >Adorable puppy!!I am blog hopping today and thought I would stop by your blog.Please stop by and follow either or both of my blogs as well:Jessicas Lil Corner is where I blog about life and family at http://jessicaslilcorner.blogspot.comSo Stylilized is where I am currently offering FREE custom blog designs at http://sostylilized.blogspot.comI hope to see you at either or both of my blogs and welcome you to follow both!!Have a great Wednesday!! :0)

  7. >SO so so cute!!I taught Koda not to bite by reading this tip in a book that told me to 'yelp' when she bit me and stop playing with her for a few minutes.I felt pretty silly yelping, but she stopped biting very quickly, so maybe it worked??

  8. >She's gorgeous! There can't be many cuter dogs out there and pics like this really make you understand the phrase "puppy dog eyes" šŸ™‚

  9. OMG that is the same collar—they totally need to meet! Good thing they are both unable to make babies however the babies would be totally cute. That snuggle picture is making my heart warm šŸ™‚

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